Bassyarpstan is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, temperamental mongoose.

Bassyarpstan created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassyarpstan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bassyarpstan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bassyarpstan's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bassyarpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never sit in the presence of badgers.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.