Watnillmif is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, overgenerous jackal.

Watnillmif created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watnillmif, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Watnillmif, she will turn you into a snail.

Watnillmif's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Watnillmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms red.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not cook food in pots.