Zagabril Pagjapsag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving centipede.

Zagabril Pagjapsag created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zagabril Pagjapsag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zagabril Pagjapsag, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zagabril Pagjapsag's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zagabril Pagjapsag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zagabril Pagjapsag.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Run away from pink snails, for they are unholy.

5. Put Zagabril Pagjapsag first in all things.