Arpmetfed is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witty otter.

Arpmetfed created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpmetfed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpmetfed, it will send you a sign.

Arpmetfed's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Arpmetfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Always look after injured birds.