Ditjadvog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm porpoise.

Ditjadvog created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Ditjadvog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ditjadvog, it will ignore you.

Ditjadvog's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ditjadvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not take Ditjadvog's name in vain.

3. Always help moths in need.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Never go into green rooms.