Disscissflab Witfetveen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, vain grasshopper.

Disscissflab Witfetveen created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disscissflab Witfetveen, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Disscissflab Witfetveen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Disscissflab Witfetveen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Disscissflab Witfetveen's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed cherries to cats while wearing indigo coats.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat green fruit.