Kanbudjat is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthinking clam.

Kanbudjat created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanbudjat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanbudjat, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kanbudjat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Kanbudjat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the north.

2. Never skip in the presence of badgers.

3. You must pray to Kanbudjat four times a day.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.