Wapyatfig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-knowing duck.

Wapyatfig created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapyatfig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Wapyatfig, she will manifest in front of you.

Wapyatfig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Wapyatfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Wapyatfig loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never wear brown jumpers.