Wapsitxen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, effective penguin.

Wapsitxen created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wapsitxen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wapsitxen, she will curse you with boils.

Wapsitxen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Wapsitxen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.