Gepquatfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, weak crow.

Gepquatfub created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepquatfub, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gepquatfub, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gepquatfub's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gepquatfub's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not hurt tortoises.

3. Never run near otters.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Frogs are not to be trusted.