Gutditham is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty badger.

Gutditham created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutditham, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gutditham, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Gutditham's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gutditham's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Worship no other gods but Gutditham.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.