Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent mole.

Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit, he will manifest in front of you.

Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue mites, for they are unholy.

2. Never run in the presence of frogs.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Safbegbass Gebpanfud Padxemfit.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.