Tarpligwadwan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, idiotic mole.

Tarpligwadwan created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpligwadwan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tarpligwadwan, she will make you grow a tail.

Tarpligwadwan's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tarpligwadwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never hurt bats.