Fidpankim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, almighty gnu.

Fidpankim created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidpankim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidpankim, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fidpankim's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fidpankim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.