Gadhomfar is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, annoying owl.

Gadhomfar created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadhomfar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gadhomfar, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gadhomfar's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gadhomfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadhomfar.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.