Vonstippad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic hummingbird.

Vonstippad created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonstippad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonstippad, she will torture you forever.

Vonstippad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vonstippad's Holy Commandments

1. Vonstippad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never hurt eagles.

5. Put Vonstippad first in all things.