Pangqueegbot is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous aardvark.

Pangqueegbot created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangqueegbot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangqueegbot, it will turn you into a frog.

Pangqueegbot's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pangqueegbot's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the east.

2. Hide if nine monkeys approach from the west.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry moths.