Poptargrak Jadhabbin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain dog.

Poptargrak Jadhabbin created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Poptargrak Jadhabbin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Poptargrak Jadhabbin, she will turn you into a tree.

Poptargrak Jadhabbin's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Poptargrak Jadhabbin's Holy Commandments

1. Poptargrak Jadhabbin loves whales, so they must be respected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always help seals.