Guncanbidyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, effective cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Guncanbidyarl created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncanbidyarl, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Guncanbidyarl, she will turn you into a plant.

Guncanbidyarl's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Guncanbidyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Guncanbidyarl.

5. Never paint your face white.