Hottettigunlab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, intelligent lobster.

Hottettigunlab created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hottettigunlab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hottettigunlab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hottettigunlab's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hottettigunlab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hottettigunlab first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Hottettigunlab.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.