Cipfithin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, witty faun.

Cipfithin created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipfithin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cipfithin, it will destroy your home solar system.

Cipfithin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cipfithin's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt foxes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Do not cook food in pots.