Cimdap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, conceited elephant.

Cimdap created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimdap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cimdap, she will turn you into a rock.

Cimdap's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cimdap's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cimdap.

4. Never look at stars.

5. You must love Cimdap.