Sabpinmil is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent dog.

Sabpinmil created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabpinmil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sabpinmil, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sabpinmil's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Sabpinmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Hide from brown tapirs for they are unholy.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.