Hivjamtif is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful jackal.

Hivjamtif created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivjamtif, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hivjamtif, she will turn you into a puffin.

Hivjamtif's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hivjamtif's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hivjamtif.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never sit near seals.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Hide from turquoise dogs for they are unholy.