Dumvidmin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, irritating naga.

Dumvidmin created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumvidmin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumvidmin, he will turn you into a slug.

Dumvidmin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Dumvidmin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven doves approach from the north.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Never wear purple trousers.

5. Do not chop down trees.