Bastmitbud is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish walrus.

Bastmitbud created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmitbud, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bastmitbud, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bastmitbud's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Bastmitbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not take Bastmitbud's name in vain.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.