Yarpshavgig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, duplicitous swallow.

Yarpshavgig created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpshavgig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarpshavgig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarpshavgig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Yarpshavgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yarpshavgig.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Always obey Yarpshavgig's priests.