Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, proud snail.

Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Wodgudyog Fadvadflam Bafarnnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.