Hitfotbonxin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody coyote.

Hitfotbonxin created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfotbonxin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hitfotbonxin, it will be mildly annoyed.

Hitfotbonxin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hitfotbonxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters.

2. Hide if eight seals approach from the west.

3. Run away if six moths approach from the east.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.