Yoklapsid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful owl.

Yoklapsid created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoklapsid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yoklapsid, she will turn you into a mouse.

Yoklapsid's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Yoklapsid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yoklapsid.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never feed nuts to squirrels while wearing white shoes.

5. Never pour water over plants.