Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, wise eagle.

Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nibcamhak Gunpodbodappjapdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.