Hitnatcen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless alligator.

Hitnatcen created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitnatcen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hitnatcen, she will refuse to believe in you.

Hitnatcen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hitnatcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the west.

5. Retreat if eight goats approach from the east.