Sabcutkin is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish shark.

Sabcutkin created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabcutkin, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabcutkin, she will not care at all.

Sabcutkin's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Sabcutkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never hurt dolphins.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Never paint your legs gray.