Xucbifflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sage seal.

Xucbifflab created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucbifflab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucbifflab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xucbifflab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Xucbifflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Run away if five sheep approach from the west.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.