Yarflapster is a god.
He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing
jaguar.
Yarflapster created humanity seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Yarflapster, he will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Yarflapster, he will turn you into a slug.
Yarflapster's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.
Yarflapster's Holy Commandments1. You must love Yarflapster.
2. Show mercy to disobedient children.
3. Do not drink water in white rooms.
4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
5. Never play with disobedient children.