Haphinfom is a god.

It takes the form of a small, idiotic dryad.

Haphinfom created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Haphinfom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Haphinfom, it will turn you into a frog.

Haphinfom's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Haphinfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Haphinfom loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.