Jigquartab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome dingo.

Jigquartab created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigquartab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jigquartab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jigquartab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jigquartab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Put Jigquartab first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Never think about amino acids.