Gubfenlik is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unfair donkey.

Gubfenlik created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubfenlik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gubfenlik, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gubfenlik's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gubfenlik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. You must pray to Gubfenlik four times a day.

4. Run away from red seals, for they are unholy.

5. You must love Gubfenlik.