Nillbedmum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, resourceful tapir.

Nillbedmum created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillbedmum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nillbedmum, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nillbedmum's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Nillbedmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nillbedmum.

4. You must love Nillbedmum.

5. Do not take Nillbedmum's name in vain.