Gonmonvog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, slow crocodile.

Gonmonvog created the Sunflower Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonmonvog, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gonmonvog, he will curse you with boils.

Gonmonvog's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gonmonvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Run away if seven gulls approach from the east.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Never talk about fire.