Cudlap is a god.
It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind
tortoise.
Cudlap created viruses five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Cudlap, it will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Cudlap, it will laugh at you.
Cudlap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.
Cudlap's Holy Commandments1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
3. Do not shave your head.
4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.
5. Do not eat coconuts.