Yoknurtwig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, kind dolphin.

Yoknurtwig created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoknurtwig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yoknurtwig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Yoknurtwig's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Yoknurtwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Put Yoknurtwig first in all things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yoknurtwig.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about sharks.