Kipomindav is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, caring cow.

Kipomindav created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipomindav, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kipomindav, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kipomindav's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Kipomindav's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help hamsters.