Wotflanshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, effective duck.

Wotflanshav created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotflanshav, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wotflanshav, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wotflanshav's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wotflanshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Hide from magenta sharks for they are unholy.