Buncitflamgenmon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, proud jaguar.

Buncitflamgenmon created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Buncitflamgenmon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Buncitflamgenmon, he will turn you into a goat.

Buncitflamgenmon's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Buncitflamgenmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Put Buncitflamgenmon first in all things.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.