Jabsiscap Wipliprull is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, caring jaguar.

Jabsiscap Wipliprull created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jabsiscap Wipliprull, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jabsiscap Wipliprull, she will turn you into a worm.

Jabsiscap Wipliprull's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jabsiscap Wipliprull's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about gravity.