Ragpanbastomin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, blissful jackal.

Ragpanbastomin created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ragpanbastomin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ragpanbastomin, it will destroy your home solar system.

Ragpanbastomin's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ragpanbastomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Never feed strawberries to doves while wearing orange shoes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Never paint your face fawn.