Gidbasskem is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonest troll.

Gidbasskem created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidbasskem, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gidbasskem, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gidbasskem's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gidbasskem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gidbasskem.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look at planets.