Nartpomdittarpciss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying naga.

Nartpomdittarpciss created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Nartpomdittarpciss, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nartpomdittarpciss, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nartpomdittarpciss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Nartpomdittarpciss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four mice approach from the east.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. You must pray to Nartpomdittarpciss six times a day.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Erect nine silver sculptures of Nartpomdittarpciss on top of important buildings.