Dobbassfot Jarnontbest is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying deer.

Dobbassfot Jarnontbest created the Virgo Supercluster two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobbassfot Jarnontbest, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dobbassfot Jarnontbest, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dobbassfot Jarnontbest's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dobbassfot Jarnontbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.